So naturally you all are expecting a taco Tuesday post because I told you “every other Tuesday is Taco Tuesday…” Well here’s the truth.
As I mentioned per my first post, I have been spinning this blog idea for awhile. The reasons I put it off:
- I don’t have the money to make it good enough
- I don’t know a whole lot about writing a blog
- I don’t know why anyone would really read what I write about
- I don’t know what value I bring to the table on this platform
The list could continue but these are the main ones.
If any of you have ever ventured in on a new project you’ve probably felt similar things at one point or another during that time of breakthrough.
Well here are the things that I now know and do have to correspond with the things I didn’t know or didn’t have.
- I want to build it anyway.
- I will write for me, and only me, and as the saying goes, “if you write it, they will come…” that’s right…., right? 😆
- I will write it for me, and only me, so who the hell cares.
- I bring value by simply living and being human and learning and to question that is silly. We all need more, and I want to bring more to the table, no matter how small the table is.
So what’s my point and how does this relate to Taco Tuesday? Well here’s the sweet deal folks. In the midst of “building it anyway,” my finances have been tight and by tight, I mean I got nailed with a nasty thing called garnishments on my paychecks due to unpaid parking tickets and taxes. How fun. Adulting at it’s finest. So, I can not give you a fun slew of restaurant taco pictures this week but what I can give you is some advice on overcoming such obstacles, budgeting being one of them. Now, this is just what seems to be working, or at least putting me in a better position going forward. That’s all I know, the things that have done and have worked for me. The things I wish I considered and the things I’m still working on.
First, let’s talk about money.
This is literally my least favorite topic in the history of time. Growing up, we always had enough and as a kid, it never looked like sacrificing or tight budgets. As I got older and became more aware I quickly realized, as a kid, you believe in the life your parents want you to believe in.
Now, my parents are fine and financially things are fine for them but I learned a lot about my own habits quickly as I started to make and spend my own money. It wasn’t pretty for awhile, and it’s still not some months. Talk about rent, utilities, and don’t even get me started on groceries (oh yea, those things you didn’t even consider because they just showed up at your house magically when you were a kid). Now throw in the shit show of health insurance, getting your car fixed, random pet health expenses, and you’re ready to pack it in and say what the hell was I thinking? Adulting, GO HOME.
Logically speaking this whole budgeting thing isn’t all that hard but for whatever reason it took me many late nights and an excel spreadsheet my father helped me (let’s be real, “helped” is an under statement) put together for me to get a better grasp on getting it done.
It looked like me totaling up my complete income after taxes (this is harder if your income is based on tips like bartending or waitressing, but conservatively guestimate with the best of your ability), then it’s totaling up every single recurring bill (I like Apps like Mint for this one), and when they are due.
Then it took me breaking it down by week and when I needed to put what money where so that I knew I wasn’t spending the money set aside for a designated bill. That took opening multiple accounts to make sure everything was organized and allocating spending money to one checking account (linked to one card), bill money in another checking account (linked to another card), and then a savings account.
Then I even have another savings account that is at a different bank and I don’t have access to this money unless I actually go into the bank. Sounds like a lot? Yes. It is, but it’s necessary for how I do things (at least for now) Am I Type A, or what? Haha.
I don’t know if anyone would be interested in the actual budget spreadsheet, it’s broken down monthly and then another sheet for yearly and into what money gets funneled where and how to keep it all straight. If enough people would be interested, and also into the further instruction on how I fill it out.. let me know and I’ll attach a blank one to this post and instructions on how to customize it to fit your life. 🙂
The rest of the bullet points I can pretty sum it up like this…
I don’t know what will work or what won’t work until I just start and try, the same thing goes for you. And by work, I meant “make me successful” for the longest time, but I’m learning that “work” in the rules deemed by society creates too many expectations that overwhelm me. So I’m attaching the word “work” to making me feel more full and happy as opposed to exhausted and depleted and anxious like I’m not doing it right. Which is total bullshit.
I read a apart of Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Big Magic last weekend and a part of it really spoke to me in regard to this point. I’m going to absolutely butcher it if I try to directly quote it but it basically felt like this to me.
Everyone is entitled to their creativity, it is not directly for anyone else as it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t have rules or guidelines and it shouldn’t be taken too seriously. Discovering your creativity is a path completely your own in whatever direction you want it to go and the less you make it about other people the better off you’ll be.
I’m trying this new thing out in my life where I just do whatever moves me, no expectations or rules, because my roots are firmly planted in love and service and faith and hope… so it only seems perfectly logical that being rooted firmly in those things would result in growth that promotes happiness and a life to be proud of in abundance with people that cultivate magic and rich existences. Right? So I shall post from now on when I have something to say, and to share, and to put out into the universe. I will still be around religiously every Tuesday, but you may or may not hear from me in the in betweens too. 🙂
Thank you all for holding this space for me to discover myself. Love, love, LOVE.