So, I told myself that I was going to write for the next half an hour about my Fall Favorites and my super amazing de-bloat drink that I’ve been guzzling like a ravenous animal every morning since Thanksgiving but I don’t really know what I’m going to write yet, but as Liz Gilbert says, just write. It doesn’t have to be anything life changing or anything important or anything not important. Anywayyy… since I feel like this won’t be much about Fall Favorites, I will still stick the de-bloat recipe at the bottom of the post if anyone wants it! But for now, this post can be whatever it is and that is enough.
That seems like the theme of all themes lately. It can be whatever it is and that’s enough. Even though that literally goes against everything that my perfectionist self has ever thought. It’s like as long as I can remember it’s never been in my DNA to do “enough.” Unless we are talking about school work. That was never my jam, no math and science for me pleaseee. I can just hear my Dad now, “if it’s half-assed you’ll do it again so you might as well do it right the first time.” Being this way has prevented me from doing a lot of things at times. Including starting this blog. Writing each post is literally almost like throwing up because it’s never going to be as good as it sounds in my head (which is probably why they have been infrequent lately). If it couldn’t be perfect or exactly the way it needed to be to put me in the most successful position then I wasn’t going to start until it was. Usually the most successful position at least when writing a blog is concerned usually has a lot to do with the money (from my very short experience). For some people, it’s time but I’ve never made “I don’t have enough time” much of an excuse because frankly, I can always sleep less or spend less time doing less important things. That goes for everything, not just writing a blog. Sometimes we have to sacrifice even the things we love to get the things we need to keep the momentum going toward our goals. You love sleep? Sleep less. You love the sports league you play on? Take a break. You love cooking big elaborate dinners for yourself? Eat pb&j. Now you’re probably thinking…. I would be miserable if I did this. But would you? Yea, probably initially but if it isn’t working to get you to what you’re really after? Then you don’t need it right now. What you need is a dedication to yourself. Picture this, if you had your future self pop up in front of you right now saying “if you just stopped hiking every weekend, going out so much, and sleeping in on Sunday because you can, we would be where your 5 year goal is in 2.” Wouldn’t that make you think twice? Nothing has to be forever but shaving off 3 years off a goal that will probably ultimately give you more freedom in a variety of ways to budget in the things you’re giving up now sounds like a no brainer to me. Obviously easier said than done and it won’t be cold turkey for most but you have to know what pain you’re willing to endure to get what you want.
Bringing it full circle to what it is I really want, it begins to unfold as a very very interesting and a little bit intimidating question. So, I made a list of sorts.
What makes you excited?
Traveling! People! Coaching!
I wish I could draw pictures in this post because that would better define what it looks like. Although it would look similar to fireworks and swirlys of a three year old but truthfully that’s what it feels like inside of me when I talk about the things I want. Doesn’t everyone feel that way?
What do you want? Like you and only you, if you could have anything, and don’t be shy or feel like you’re going to be narcissistic if you tell the truth.
Me? I want to be on camera taking people on adventures. I feel like I can’t possibly communicate my excitement for life and my enthusiasm for possibilities in people if I don’t do this. Like no one will truly get it until they see how it makes me come alive and then, I will just repeatedly and annoyingly tell people the truth about their power so they know they can too. Like the smallest of stupid details. Like “so here I am in the Bangkok airport at 2am and they lost my luggage.” Or “Hey guys, here I am in Iceland and my hostel/Airbnb/hotel doesn’t have my reservation so I’m sleeping in my car in -15-degree weather.” Or “hey guys, I have no money and even though I’m in (insert place here) I’m only eating ramen because that’s all I can afford.” And the best one “yes, I want you all to see my home life because it’s actually severely gross and cluttered and unorganized but it’s the ebb and flow of it all so you should see this too. Oh yea, that in the corner is the pile of dirty laundry I have yet to do and no longer fits in my hamper from the last two weeks. Glamorous, right? I’m human.” It would be sooo miserable at times, and it is, this journey here to Portland has been a fucking mess and if I had a video camera strapped to my head the whole time, a lot of you would be questioning my sanity but here I am and I feel like all of you who think you “could never do that,” to know you really could.
What else do I want? I want to speak to thousands of people in person because I want to hug them all after and I want to leave them all feeling like they truly have the power to move mountains like I know we each really can. Everything you need to live the most magical and fulfilling life you ever want is already right inside of you. Isn’t that so fucking cool? It’s like you already know where the X on the treasure map is and it’s the best damn treasure anyone in this life could ask for! It’s their deepest hopes and wildest dreams and so damn much abundance it’s dripping over the sides of the chest.
Your obstacle is to dig this chest up. Seems easy enough but the reality is, it’s under roots of trauma, and boulders of fear, and the dirt isn’t potting soil… it’s sludgy clay made of self-doubt and pain. Remember what I said earlier? What pain are you willing to endure to get what you want. When you ask anyone in life what they want, everyone would tell you a very similar story to what is at the bottom of that hole in that chest. But even when you promise people they have what it takes to dig, they will repeatedly stare at the hole and they won’t do the work. The sheer enormity of the task feels too big and you’re exhausted looking at it and you don’t know where to start so you just never do. Most people want the same things but there are very few willing to make their limbs bleed and ache to get it. Like you could grab both their cheeks and say, “There is 10 feet of blood, and pain, and suffering between you and everything” and some wouldn’t even try. Some would get to the first “impossible” obstacle and walk away, some would get two feet away from the chest and be proud they made it that far and be content to walk away, and even less than that will ever make it to the chest.
Who do you want to be? Because I know, as clear as my own heartbeat that we can move the dirt. Every single damn one of us. Will it be easy? No, but just look at the historical proof we have been given to know we can. How this country was founded for starters. If you don’t see blood and sweat and fear in that journey, you’re crazy. Those were all ordinary people with jobs and families and two arms and two legs and a brain and a heart who just decided what they were given just wasn’t enough. Or think about Maya Angelou, Harriet Tubman, Anne Frank, Victor Frankel, Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Martin Luther King, and most recently I’ve been reading about Michael Jordan. But let’s not stop there: Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Elon Musk! Look, these people are all just that. People. They were average and mediocre kids at best before they decided to start and keep digging. You know how we scroll through social media and we see everyone’s highlight reel? Well most of the absolutely remarkable people in history have a highlight reel too and for the sheer fact that we talk about them is a highlight reel in itself because no one ever says first “Well Bill Gates didn’t have a lot of friends growing up because he was shy in school” or “Albert Einstein was left by his family in Munich when they moved to Milan and he dropped out of school to rejoin them.” We only know the great things they did. They faced the roots and the boulders and the clay and muck, I’m absolutely positive if not just figuratively but for some of them very literally clawed their finger-tips raw to move the dirt. But they started out like normal people just like you and me with more than likely a very similar set of challenges we face today if not worse. They just made a choice. So, I want to be the person that stands up on a stage and says, “What is it going to take to get you digging? What kinda strength training class can we all sign up for right now that will get you digging? Because if you’re here, then I already know you’re saying to yourself the same things I have been. ‘This cannot be it.’ ‘If I’m not beaming with happiness about this life, then this simply cannot be enough. I want more.’ Well, it’s ten feet down and I’ll let you in on a little secret. Picture the room we are sitting in like we are in an open field and all your treasure chests are directly underneath you ten feet down. Now look to your left, and look to your right. Let’s all make a pact to ourselves and each other that right here and right now we are going to start digging. Then when any of us wants to quit, because we all will, we know what to do. Life is hard, and that’s a fact. We are going to climb out of our own hole and we are going to remind that person who wants to walk away what we are fighting for and that you are right there digging your hole right beside them. None of us are alone, we belong to each other, and it is our responsibility to remind each other of that and often. The coolest and most incredibly powerful part about what we are doing here today is that we know who is also committing to this work with us. I truly want you to picture this journey like digging for treasure. And anytime you want to quit, I hope you reach out to any one of us and say, ‘this root of self-doubt is not budging,’ or ‘this fear boulder is too heavy,’ because then we can step up and ask you, ‘what is in your treasure chest? And ask you if that boulder or root is stronger than you are. This will be the visceral fight of your life. If you have kids? Fight like your kids are at the bottom of that hole, because even if you don’t have kids or don’t want them… your happy and healthy future (which many would argue is symbolically what your kids are) is at the bottom of that hole. Are you honestly going to tell me that THAT isn’t worth the fight of your life? No matter what? You have a permanent and indestructible shovel, always. Fight for your life people, do the work.”
Woah that was a doozy and I read this back to myself standing because I just got so effing excited.
I also was reading Brené Brown’s book, Braving the Wilderness today and I loved this intention-setting method (as she calls it) to write herself permission slips. So WITH ME, let’s pull out a piece of scrap paper, a post-it note, the back of a used envelope and together on it write, “I give myself permission to trust the process of hole digging because all I need to reach the chest is already inside of me.”
I want that, I want power, I want magic, I want tears, and fight, and strength. Filling people up makes me full. I want to be full for the rest of my life.
I want to be a lively, spontaneous, healthy lady with a YouTube channel wandering the world and talking about food and telling about all the stories of all the people I meet from my hostel bed at the end of the night. I want my life to be a tapestry of bold stories, messy mistakes, and deeply rooted love.
I want to write a book.
I want a podcast and Who’s Hungry Tribe.
I want to live in a tiny house.
I pretended that I was writing this for all of you, but the beauty of it is… I wrote this for me. Sometimes all we need is a little shake-up. Thanks self ! You kick butt! Now get to the gym ! Future self will thank you.
And here we are, an hour later and I feel inspired and so damn happy. If you write a permission slip take a picture and post it in the comments or tag me on it on IG! (@shes_hungry) I also think it would be fun to tag Brené! Subscribe to the blog
ANDDD As promised !
My SAVING GRACE DE-BLOAT WATERRRRR:
- 2 Liters of Water (YASSS LADIES this is how much you should be aiming for, but start small as long as you start)
- 1 Teaspoon of freshly grated ginger (I put more because I’m just extra like that and I like ginger)
- 1 Cucumber just sliced and stuffed in the container but I take the seeds out because I hate shit floating in my water but this is all you.
- 1 Lemon, now again with the shit floating in my water… I estimate a lemon usually yields around 2 tablespoons so I have NOT FROM CONCENTRATE lemon juice in my fridge and I use that.
- And a handful of Mint
I have a big water jug I keep in my fridge because I like my water extra extra cold all the time so I bought an extra one for this water and I just either pour it into cups or I also have my favorite glass liter water bottle that I carry with me obnoxiously if I’m on the go and I keep it in that if I’m having an extra yuck day. Anyway, it’s really been helping with the post Thanksgiving sluggish-ness I always feel especially after drinking a litttttle too much wine. Oh well. Hope you enjoy !